i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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