Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
