The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
