If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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