I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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