apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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