someone get that fucking seahorse.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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