i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize