Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
