I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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