I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
