Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
