I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
