do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
