I'm jealous of your bromance
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
