Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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