i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
