sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
