i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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