he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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