You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
