Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Four minutes until I can fart!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
