I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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