foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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