I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
