Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
