I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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