I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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