My first STD was from a foam party
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
