there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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