I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
