I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
