There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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