just come out here and I will go home with you...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
