bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it glows. i had to have it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
