didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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