I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
the raccoons are back...
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