um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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