yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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