Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
