i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't turn off my feet"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
