Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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