So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
