A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
