is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
