Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
