just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
