Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
