someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
