Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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