I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
