she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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