i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
