let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
